As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
