Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
