Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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