You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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