is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
