My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
