AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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