I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
no you cant smoke seaweed
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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