Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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