didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize