Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize