So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
