last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
