when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize