i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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