Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
