You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I checked into jail on foursquare
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
