4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
