I think I died a long time ago.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
