how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
