I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
