Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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