He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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