I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
