she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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