so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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