You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
