oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
