Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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