well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize