I want to stick my p in your. b.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
