And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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