youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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