We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
