HIV tests are more positive than that guy
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
