i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
