my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
