i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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