cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
