Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
