But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
