I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
