Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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