i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
