i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
