I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I love having hate sex.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
