just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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