the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I did not marry a roomba.
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