"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
