Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
