I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize