next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize