Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
