I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
