TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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