i will never coherently bang her
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
