their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no, he came in my armpit
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
