You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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