I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
