its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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