I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize