dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
