when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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