it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
