Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
