OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
