I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
