dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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