she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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