Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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