One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Operation Purity has been aborted
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
